Underneath the Mask

Optimism.The one thing everyone expects. The one thing I'm pretty good at. Put the smile on, look at the positive side, say words like its better this way, it's not meant to be, I'll learn from it, I'm getting stronger, blah blah, and usually I mean it. But what about when you get hurt , when you realize that something you have dreamed about is never going to happen, when the one person you want to run to is responsible for the pain, when life sucks is unfair. The moments where you are just angry, you want to cry, scream, yell, or fight, and you have a right too, but then what happens to your positivity and always happy attitude? So you don't cry, scream, or show the pain. You smile, laugh, spew off the three positive things you can think about the situation and move on.
Later on... it happens to be a gorgeous day. You go on a run. Unfortunately, when the legs start running so does the mind, and soon you find yourself looking like a lunatic as you are running down the side of the road crying, can't be healthy right?
So yes. I know this is for the best, and that someday I'm going to get everything I have ever dreamed of, and it will all be that much sweeter from these harder experiences. But, for right now, I think I just need a day.


ps. sorry this post is so blaah.

Today...

My brain looks something like this...
ajsdfajsdfjasdlfjasj;!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!sdfas f!!afaadlafjsdfsdfhkhasf????????????dfahsdff!!!??adfljsdfjasdfnogiajwhajadoifuadsfasdnfadoiae

sfdgjf???!!!!sadfj(***sd fsdfhaskldfhao.

aka. its on drugs, and going a mile a minute. That is all.

Spring Break to Rexburg

So this weekend Chantel and I hit the open road for a baby Spring Break trip to Rexburg to visit her sis and to see Kylie dance! It was super fun and way relaxing, and made us actually fall in love with and appreciate good ol' Provo.

So lets see. Weekend Recap:
Friday night:
- We explored the lounge of the apartment complex that Chantel's sister manages, and it was sweeet! There was a computer lab, theater room (complete with a cuddling couple), gym, piano room, living room (fireplace included), and kitchen (with a cookie dough filled freezer).. it was niiice! We both decided we wanted to move in. 4 hour commute to Provo, no biggie.

- I introduced Chantel to these lovely gentlemen.

http://mormonbachelorpad.blogspot.com

we fell in love and looked at girls ratings. While waiting for the couple to stop cuddling in the theater room so we could play!

- Then we watched this movie

and decided pretty much that Lindsay's hair and the blonde friend were the only good things about that movie. 

Then bedtime.. we slept under this fabulous light fixture. 

and yes, we did feel like 6 yr old boys. 

Saturday: Explore Rexburg Day

- woke up to a yummy breakfast thanks to Angie!

- then checked out the Cocoa Bean Cafe and got the cutest little ginormous cupcakes.

and yummy hot chocolate. 

Oh they were so heavenly! I got this raspberry cheesecake one, and Chantel got this chocolate nutella one... i dont't know exactly, but it was chocolatey and delish! 

My favorite part tho would have to be when Chantel got impatient and just wanted to eat the cupcake but still wanted to preserve it for the picture... so she simply lifted up the icing blob and ate from the center out.. so so funny!

pure skill. 

Then we drove around and found this little gem. 

(Huge globe on a trailer in a random abandoned lot behind an abandoned building.. not weird at all)

I love the world. 

Chantel loves Texas. 

We then found the one stretch of downtown, complete with Walmart, Quiznos, McDonalds, and Jack in the Crack. all the necessities really. 

We also found the reason Rexburg looks so dirty

And the reason it is so pretty!

 yeah the temple was so gorgeous, and so white, and cute, and little 

we love to see the temple, We'll go inside someday.. (when its not 9oclock and closed.. ) 

We then kicked back and attempted to watch this.. 

I however could not keep up. the time traveling lost me. not so much a fan. They looked really pretty though! (wow thats what i said about the last movie. maybe i should start listening more.. oh! or just watch everything with subtitles, cuz apparently my eyes work fine, its the ears not so good)

And finally the reason behind the trip.. Kylies dance show!

Sadly I was to wrapped up in trying to find kylie.. watching the dancing and forgot to take more pics. After the show I was tempted to pass my email up to the girl in front of me cuz she was snapping pics all night.. buuut thought that might be kinda weird. Anyways, Kylie did AMAZING! I was so proud to call her my friend. I have never seen her dance like choreographed and she is so good! She definitely impressed me much. 

Sunday: 

- drive to Idaho Falls

- meet a lovely cop

- turn around and go back to Rexburg

- then continue home! 

: ) 

It was such a fun weekend and I got to spend the whole time with my BFF. It was fun to be able to talk the whole time and catch up on life! 

oh and here are just some more random favorite weekend moments: 

       - Stopping at Wendy's, standing in line and talking to Chantel, when this boy starts dancing his way to get his food... both of us immediately stop talking and stare.. and that is why we are friends. 

      - Dancing to this man's song! 

 The moment sure got critical

    

     - Taking a walk through one of the apartments and coveting their perfume selections as well as decorating skills!  

     - curses!

The Story Behind the Title

Ok so here it is- the explanation behind the new title, just so we are all clear. It is a line from one of my favorite songs, "Emily" -- From First to Last (ok yes that sounds slighly conceited I know, having my favorite song be my name, but its just such a agood/pretty song, so I don't even care)

Anyway, the song goes---
"thunderstorms could never stop me / cause there's no one in the world like Emily"

Yeah I liked that. I can achieve anything. Plus I like to think of myself as a pretty happy and optimisitc person so the way I see it, no amount of thunderstorms , or rain can bring me down. "There can't be a rainbow without any rain"

And that my friends is the story.

Here's the song. listen to it, love it, enjoi : )

Happy Birthday Mommie!

Well today my mom is officially half a century old, which is crazy! For some reason in my head she is always 38. (I bet that makes you feel good huh mom). But 50... if I was around and had endless supplies of money I would want to taker he on something amazing.. like a hot air balloon! But since that is not exactly plausible a simple blog dedication will have to do, she can imagine reading it while flying in a balloon over somewhere beautiful and warm if she wants.

Anyways, I just want everyone to know that I think she is so amazing and I couldnt' have asked for a better mom. I'm so lucky to have her in my life, and I value the friendship we have so much. It makes me laugh when I think about how much we clashed in high school, and how wrong and different I thought we were but in reality I think we were just to similar and I didn't like it. I'm so glad that I grew out of that little phase, and now I have to talk to her multiple times a week! She has always been there for me, whether it was cooking amazing dinners, doing little crafts when we were younger, or just listening to my random stories. I know that she is so proud of me and not matter what I do she will always be there cheering me on. She is such an amazing person, awesome mom, and a perfect example.

Hope your day was amazing! I LOVE YOU MOM!!! : )

[and miss you a little lot too]

ps. I know there should be a super cute picture of us 2 attached to this, but i don't even have one on this computer. how super lame.

7 Reasons why Today I'm Smiling

1- Im wearing shorts … on March 1… in Utah- its glorious!
2- I saw this guy today that looked like a mannequin. Seriously I thought that BYU had just stuck a new statue in the wilk, then he moved. I wish that I would have a camera so I could have pictorial evidence of this. After much contemplation these are the reasons I came up with for his uncanny mannequin resemblance.
a. He was suuuper white.
b. Had flawless skin.. not a mark/bump/crevice anywhere
c. His features were perfect and very defined.
d. He was dressed really really well.
e. dang.. this is starting to sound like Edward
f. crap I just made a twilight reference..
g. oh yes.. and he was sitting soooo still.
h. It was odd.. so weird.
3- After seeing the non-mannequin man I continued my journey through the Wilk. Kay so im walking by jamba juice and there is this girl standing and staring into the ballroom with a weird grin on her face and laughing, so naturally I get curious to what she is looking at right….umm there is a blood drive going on in the ballroom… so this weirdee girl is just creepily smiling and laughing at all the people getting their blood drawn? Very peculiar—Im just hoping she had a friend in there or something..
4- Im at the grocery store, standing in line, minding my own business, reading up on the latest celebrity gossip via tabloid covers when the girl in front of me turns around and says “don’t worry Im not buying this coke to drink” (it was caffeinated btw, and only like a 16 oz, nothing huge or anything) so im like okaaay.. was I judging you? Maybe I looked at her weird or something? After that comment im pretty sure I did give her a strange look tho.. she then goes on to tell me how the recipe calls for Coke, and she doesn’t want to risk using uncaffeinated but she is not going to drink it.. blah blah.. more than 5 times she said she wasn’t going to drink it. 2 things wrong with this picture – A: I could care less about what she is buying and what she is going to do with it. like honestly. I mean on occasion I do just like to hang out at the grocery store and judge people based on their purchases, but not today. B: caffeine in things like Coke is not bad, well its not good for you, but not against any of our beliefs or nothing. dang u-tards.
5- I successfully avoided all of the booths telling me to vote for a specific BYUSA president candidate! – but I did go vote to get a free t-shirt! Pretty sure I would have remembered to vote for President of this country if I would have gotten a free t-shirt.. just sayin.
6- We have a candy bowl at work, and lately we have been putting a couple pieces of chocolate in it a day. However, theres a guy that works there, lets call him Rob (cuz that’s his name) and he just comes by and takes ALL of the chocolate out, at like 9 in the morning.. so today I said “Rob, save some for later” in the best English, Charly and the Chocolate Factory, augusta’s mom accent I could muster…. Which was then followed with a 5 minute conversation solely of Charly and the Chocolate Factory quotes with this new guy I had never met that just happened to be walking by.. I fell in love – dang his grey hair and wedding ring!
7- I ran out of salt and pepper, but Im making scrambled eggs for dinner group. The salt and pepper are kinda a necessity. BUT then I remembered I had saved a whole grip load of those restaurant salt and pepper packets that I got from delivering food one time. So… problem solved. It’s a little bit ghetto but as is life. It reminds me of this time that I made cookies using only sugar from packets that I had stolen borrowed from Olive Garden. Mmm. Those were the best cookies too.

The only thing that would have made this day better is if I would have had my phone in my pocket. Its currently still stuck somewhere between the tanner building and the Lost and found. In the future if you ever pick up something thing that was “lost” just take it directly to the lost & found. If your just going to hold on to it til its convenient for you, just leave it. Most likely the owner will come back. Please and thank-you : )