Optimism.The one thing everyone expects. The one thing I'm pretty good at. Put the smile on, look at the positive side, say words like its better this way, it's not meant to be, I'll learn from it, I'm getting stronger, blah blah, and usually I mean it. But what about when you get hurt , when you realize that something you have dreamed about is never going to happen, when the one person you want to run to is responsible for the pain, when life sucks is unfair. The moments where you are just angry, you want to cry, scream, yell, or fight, and you have a right too, but then what happens to your positivity and always happy attitude? So you don't cry, scream, or show the pain. You smile, laugh, spew off the three positive things you can think about the situation and move on.
Later on... it happens to be a gorgeous day. You go on a run. Unfortunately, when the legs start running so does the mind, and soon you find yourself looking like a lunatic as you are running down the side of the road crying, can't be healthy right?
So yes. I know this is for the best, and that someday I'm going to get everything I have ever dreamed of, and it will all be that much sweeter from these harder experiences. But, for right now, I think I just need a day.
ps. sorry this post is so blaah.
:( i think you deserve to take as many days as you need with no obligation for fake smiles or pretend happiness. sometimes life just sucks, and it's okay to feel angry. although by no means is it fun to feel that way. but you are someone that deserves a lot, and i can't wait for the day when you finally get it. because it's gonna be AWESOME!! :)
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