Hello from the MTC!

Hello from the MTC! So I leave on Monday the 18th and I have had an amazing experience so far. I cannot wait to get to Chile and share the gospel and meet the people and love the culture! Im so glad I made this decision to go on a mission Although it has been way hard, cant lie, the god have out weighed the bad, and I have made life long friends with the leaders in my district and other hermanas. Honestly so great. My fam is going to start posting my letters with all my Chilean experiences! Miss you all, Write Me! Here are my top 7 things I have learned, plus some fun/random ones. (list of things I have learned)

1) The best way to teach is through my example and my love for my investigators. Everything I do should bring others to Christ. I need to act like I know this is the true church- though how I live others can know that I know the gospel is true.
     Also, I need to complete love for my investigators- I need to love them enough to save them. (1 Nephi 19:9)

2) I need to "embrace, enhance, magnify every moment" I need to work, work, work and not waste any second. Be bigger, better, bolder than have ever been before. I need to use the Lords time wisely so that I can become an instrument in his hands, because the Lord can make so much more out of me than I can. Christ is not sending missionaries out into the world to hold line but to Fight! To change lives, giving all my might, mind, strength to the work, remembering that I will get out what I put in.

3) The spirit is hosts its all about what I say is not as important as how I make the investigator feel. How I invite the spirit, and provide them with the opportunities to have personal spiritual experience. Soriaxe is an investigator Hermano Anderson told us about who was super difficult, atheist, stubborn- but he ended up getting baptized. Hermano Anderson asked what they said that changed his mind and he said, " The spirit helped my heart understood things my mind couldn't comprehend".

4) To have no fear. To have complete faith! I need to take the first step, just open my mouth, with Faith that it will be filled. Talk to everyone and never, ever, ever, ever, shut up! If i work with faith and focus I will give the Lord something to work with. (D:C 100 4-8; D:C 30:11)

5) I came to a better understanding of the enabling power of the atonement. Through the atonement we can do anything atonement enables us to have comfort and peace, enables us to repent, enables us to become like Christ. When times get hard remember that if we want to be Christs disciple. We have "to spend a few hours in Gethsemne, a little while in Calvary, and take a couple steps up to the summit". We have to go through some of the pains Jesus Christ went through but the atonement will carry us through. Missions are hard for a reason, but during those hard times I can stand tall because I'm standing closer to and even next to Christ himself.

6) The Lord is with me always. He abides in me, and I in him (Moses 6:32-34) God loves me so much, he wont let me be alone. Lord is on my right, and on my left with angels going before me. ( D:C 80:88)

7) Humility, humility, humility. This work is not even a little bit possible to do by myself. Alone I am nothing but with the Lord I can be strong.

                               "Every hour, every day, every step all the way. This is war!"
                                                 -And just some random fun ones-

1- You can create and analogy using a pen that will relate to any gospel principle.

2- " you've got mail" really are the 3 greatest words on the planet, and they may not admit it but every 19 yr old boy knows and will sing the blue clues mail time song.

3- It is possible to be so tired you fall asleep standing, sitting, kneeling, walking- but pulling on ear lobe is an effective way to stay awake.

4- "Called to serve" is an amazing song until you sing it 3 times a week for 9 weeks.

Breaking Up or Getting Down?

So it is not unusual for me to hear a song once and fall in love. Listen to it on loop at work, sing to it at the top of my lungs in the car, dance to it alone in my bedroom while im getting ready, or just having my daily 5 min dance party.... this can go on for either a day or an entire week.... and THEEEN.. all of a sudden I'll be doing my usual car dance, singing at the top of my lungs, to this amazing new song that has graced the world with its presence, and I'll realize what the words are. I'll stop, I'll think, I'll then know how absolutely teeerible and inappropriate my new favorite song is, and my heart will break.

This happened to me last night, and I was crushed.

Oh new song how I love you so, but I just feel sooo guilty after listening, I can't do it anymore. You were fun to dance too, we had good times, then you just had to go and be all dirty and stuff. So I'm breaking up with you. It's not me, its most definitely you. Tho you will be missed when Emily wants to dance.

I blame the radio, and the world we live in, they play this stuff and get us all hooked!

Im in one of those moods ..

to just cook and cook and cook and cook and maybe bake a little too. 

This happens to me every once in awhile. All I do is sit at work dreaming up all the culinary masterpieces I want to go home and whip up! 

Like right now.... I would love nothing more than to go home and make this : 

or maybe this

probably this

oh and definitely this

with maybe these on the side 

 oh but for sure these. 

buuut. ill probly end up going home, looking in my cupboard and eating this ---

 or maybe these

because I refuse to go grocery shopping seeing as Im leaving in a week, and Im trying to eat the food I have... which as you may have guessed consists of very little. I think I probably could count it all on one hand - my life is sad.

ps --> I am now very hungry, and didn't even bother posting all the things i wish I could bake right now. You would be drooling for sure.

 pps --> Im mildly addicted to food. I know. I have accepted it. and am moving on.

Let Him Heal Your Heart

I randomly though of this song this morning as I was running, and it has been going through my head all day. I am so grateful for music and the comfort, power, and spirit it brings. This song especially helped me through some pretty tough times. The lyrics are amazing, and the music is gorgeous. I only wish I could find the piano music, but every google search I have tried today has come up empty. : (

Let Him Heal Your Heart - Tyler Castleton

Who can know the heartache that we're feeling deep inside? 

Who can know the burden you've carried all your life? 

Darkness fills the daylight and the road is much too long. 

Where is heavens answers and the strength to carry on?

When the night is lonely and your pride and fear depart, 

When the tears are falling and the questions fill your heart, 

Think of how he loves you, how he longs to bring you home.

Reach out for his guidance, he has walked your path alone. 

Let him heal your heart, remember every promise he has made. 

Reach into your soul, forsake a life of sin and he will shine that light inside again. 

Let him help you start, to live again and feel his endless love. 

Let him hold and teach you, love and reach you, let him heal your heart.

There's no simple challenge, every road is not the same. 

Every wrong decision is forgotten if you change. 

Feel his warmth surround you, see his arms are opened wide.

And know that he stands ready, when you start to change your life. 

Never doubt his goodness, don't believe that its too late.

He sees your every struggle, and he know the trials you face. 

Follow and believe him, put your trust in him again. 

And change your heart forever, let the miracles begin. 

Let him heal your heart, remember every promise he has made.

Reach into your soul, forsake a life of sin and he will shine that light inside again. 

Let him help you start, to live again and feel his endless love. 

Let him hold and teach you, love and reach you, let him heal your heart. 

Let him hold and teach you, love and reach you, let him heal your heart.

wow huh? Yeah I get goosebumps every time. What an amazing promise we are given.We always have someone, a big brother, watching out for us, arms open wide ready to hug and comfort us. He will never judge, or turn his back. He will always welcome you back, with complete understand in what you are going through, and endless love. I couldn't ask for a more awesome blessing. 

It was Absolutely Lovely

My day yesterday that is.

I went on a lezzy date with this chica and loved every second of it! I'm so lucky that 3 years ago we got to share an apartment at the Colony.

 First we went to a late birthday dinner at Chili's --> this has kinda become one my favorite places.. food equals delish.. and especially the chocolate chip brownie ice cream dessert happiness!

After that we went and saw the Joseph Smith movie --> loved loved loved. I haven't seen it forever!  so powerful. this church is true, and I get to go share that for 18 months. favorite part was at the end they showed this quote.

"Joseph Smith lived and died for the truth. Should we not go on in such great a cause?"

  I think that was my favorite part and it sure hit me the hardest. Joseph Smith lost so much, gave his whole life for the church. Would I be so willing if it ever happened to me? I sure hope so, and I plan on remembering that quote when I complain about little things like being hungry on fast sunday or something. It was definitely the added motivation I needed right now, and just pumped me up for the mission in 2 weeks!

Then on the drive home just talked, listened to music, and watched the lightning. Nothing better than that. I could have been in that car for hours and been perfectly content.

After finding nothing on the radio we were in the mood for we popped in a cd and listened to this song. I can't help but just to be so happy after listening. It is way beautiful and super comforting!  What Heaven Sees in You --> Mindy Gledhill listen to it. love it. I plan on getting the piano music today.

My life is changed..

thats right.. In one simple hour Saturday Zumba changed my whole entire life! yes im dramatic. yes im serious tho. Zumba is a form of exercise that combines Latin music with dancing and working out. It's all about shaking the hips, moving your arms and feet and working all the muscles of your body. I have heard a lot about it but never checked it out so when I was at the gym Saturday morning and saw the class was starting I thought why not test it out just for fun, and now I am completely addicted! I so wish I had gone earlier! 

Things I loved: 

- it was way harder than I thought it would be. I came out of there so sweaty and tired. 

- we moved for 60 min straight, and even tho I was so tired I was having so much fun dancing I could have gone for another hour or two

- i could pretend that I was actually good at Salsa dancing and shaking my hips

- watching the instructor just re-enforced my love for working out, and my decision to go into Exercise and Wellness. I could totally see myself up there teaching an aerobics class. 

- all time highlight tho --- watching the old ladies doing the black girl booty shaking moves! soo funny! : )

If you have the chance to hit up a Zumba class or even watch a Zumba dvd I'd jump on that. En serio.

Pre-Mish activities

I have made a list of everything I want to do before I leave on my mission in 3 weeks. As I was writing I realized that it's less things that I need to DO.. and more things I need to EAT. yes. im a fatty. I like food. don't judge. I just need to make sure I get all my cravings out now before I get to some place like Chile where things like chocolate and peanut butter are hard to come by. no big deal.

My list is as follows:

 - Foods -

 * peanut butter bars

 * Cazookie from  The Chocolate   done.. and probably the best thing i have ever eaten.. seriously. go there. eat it. fall in love. just sayin.

 * lemon bars

 * In-N-Out

 * Rolo Cookies

 * Sushi  -- and it was a paaartie! all you can eat, with work friends. yes please.

 * Scotcheroos

 * Kneaders French Toast

 * cinnamon rolls

 * Pie Shake at Sammy's

 * Chinese food

 * pizza from Slab

I already have lunch dates planned, and have forewarned my coworkers that I will be baking a lot in the next 2 weeks so they should prepare for treats.

- Do -

 * float the Provo River

 * hike Timp to see the sunrise

 * play croquet

 * see Inception

 * longboard down the Canyon

 * Ride Jeff's horses   (-- a date has been set.. yippee! or should i say yee-haw! )

My best friend ever is coming down this weekend and I cannot wait to see her! This will be the last time I get to see her : ( so we are going to make the best of it! Hopefully we will be able to cross a few things off this list of mine!

Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica

Thoughts for Thursday.  -- Bears Edition --- 

appears cute right? don't be fooled.

Being mauled by a bear would be the absolute worst way to die. Especially when you are just sleeping peacefully in your own tent, dreaming about chocolate brownie sundaes, rainbows, and butterflies.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100729/ap_on_re_us/us_bear_mauling_death  <-- it happened. Just another reason why trailer/motor home camping trumps tents.

Speaking of bears-- and biting--- this video is super funny. I may or may not have started to cry. The funny level may or may not have been increased due to my lack of sleep and boredom at work. But I don't think so, it really is just funny.

Things I did today...

Went to court --- I saw people being booked and sent to jail right in front of my very own eyes! --handcuffs, officers, orange jumpsuits, prosecutors, the works. My favorite couple, the tiny blond girl who was in custody for domestic violence, but her husband (the one that pressed charges) was there to love on and support her. The prosecutor thought he was crazy seeing as he was a witness against her. And apparently he is waiting for his own court date to be tried on the same charge-- domestic violence -- his wife pressed charges. Strange couple. Full of issues. So entertaining.

  - Next best moment: When the judge like lost it and started yelling at everyone in the courtroom saying how they needed to stop abusing alcohol because not only where they going to land some serious jail time for doing stupid things, but also will die prematurely. It was awesome. I almost threw out an AAMEN BROTHER! just for him.

Sent my brother off to the MTC --- 

it wasn't really a big deal seeing as I will be seeing him in a month. same time, same place [well not same time, but it needed to be said for the statement to flow] Im so happy that we are going through this experience together. It had been nice to have someone to talk to about everything who completely relates to me and knows what I'm going through. Plus we have grown so much closer because of this, and our relationship will only get stronger as we share actual mission experiences. en espanol too!

Cashed in on my birthday --- Yes, it is exactly as it sounds. First off I went to Tucanos for lunch and got my free meal. I did not, however, get my a song or ice cream! I was a bit sad about that one. But Tucanos mest up and sent me dos coupons so I may just have to cash in that second one too. But theeen I get to work and signed up for every single birthday offer I could find! The list includes, but is not limited to: free coldstone ice-cream, free baskin robbins, $30 gift card for Benihanas, free cookie dough from Papa Johns, free cookie from quiznos, free blizzard from DQ, free meal from Noodles & Company, $5 off Marie Callendar's, free milkshake and tacos from Del Taco, half dozen donuts from Krispy Kremes, and I'm planning on selling my plasma tomorrow because they give you a birthday bonus. boo-yah! birthdays only come once a year. I plan on making the most of it.  *** note all these coupons expire the end of the month so I won't just explode tomorrow, nor will I really use all of them, but the fact that I caaaan.

If you want free birthday stuff too.... go here .. just one of the many websites I checked out.

Yeeeahh--its been a good day.

Birthday Week!

Its my birthday week! -- and yes I believe in celebrating the whole week, not just the day.

Plus this is even a very special birthday. My golden one. 22 on July 22.

So I have really awesome plans for every day this week.

Monday - chillin wit the fam and dying sisters hair

Tuesday - Salt Lake Temple

Wednesday - Tucanos, taking Elliott to the mtc (less happy but still exciting)

Thursday -  ???

Friday - Wallflowers birthday dance party

Fun huh! um. but do you see those question marks.. on the Thursday... the actual day of my birth. they need to go away like immediately, but I don't know what to do. My mom and sis are going to be in town so we want to celebrate but we just dont know how?! Ideas.. now please!!!

Ps. If you are going to be in Provo on Friday night, you best be coming to my party!

NRFW: the GOLDEN M  <--- be there!

you will never be lonely if you are your own friend

the last 10 emails in my inbox are from myself. Things i want future emily to remember.

I have friends i promise.

okay. maybe i really am just that lame.

I don't even like dogs but...

how can you resist this precious little face?

or this one?

if i can't share my life with a man, im going to share it with a dog, this dog. We will do everything together. it will be adorable alright. not pathetic in the slightest.

Hoy voy a ver mi familia! Voy a divertirme! : ) Im practicing my spanish. Ill practically be fluent by the time I get to the mtc. [shifty eyes]

Summer Wedding?

I have always said I wanted a summer wedding - outdoors, no rain, warm, pretty. happy.

But after seeing these... my mind is conflicted 

Im really kinda digging the umbrellas and boots. Supes cute. My umbrellas would definitely not be just boring black tho, gots to have personality dontcha know . Rain might just be ok after all.

** my home teacher recently told me that he met these girls that say supes instead of super and he thought it was completely annoying. So immediately I adopted it into my own vocabulary to annoy him and everyone else around me. Your welcome.

Guilty Pleasures

I work with a bunch of girls and one lonely boy so as a result our conversation often turns to food and tv shows while Matt sits back rolling his eyes. Today alone we have covered our obsessions love for:

Zupas

have you tried the Nuts about Berries salad? um delish. plus you get a free chocolate strawberry with every meal. hello. yes please!

 Bachelorette

 we are going to steal Roberto away and have him all to ourselves because he is so dang attractive. Frank needs to man up and grow some confidence, and Kirks family is just plain weird. The taxidermy filled basement and freezer full of dead animals next to their popsicles and other frozen treats. eek. gross. Chris is just a cutie.

Einstein Bagels

 we had to order this for a crew breakfast tomorrow and all started craving. Then Krystina and I caved and went on a lunch date.

Pretty Little Liars

we cant help it. we are all obsessed. and we are not ashamed.[well a little maybs] but en serio. Plot: 5 friends - one gets kidnapped then a year later her body is found dead, and now the 4 other friends are getting mysterious texts and other creepy notes from the dead girl! oh and all the messages are about secrets that only the dead girl knew.....  How can you not be drawn in! Plus they are pretty. plus the girls name is Spencer which just makes me want to name my own daughter that even more. Its on tonight.. and the preview loooks way gooooood and dramatic. we may or may not have watched it a couple times.

Ice Cream Cake - specifically of the Oreo nature

we are throwing a BYUB July birthday party Friday.... ice cream cake is a must, along with a pinata, party hats, and streamers. ill keep you posted. 

Glee

 This show is not even on anymore and we are still lovin on it. Faithfully - in the finale. goosebumps.

Arby's Curly Fries

they trump all other fries. the end.

Bachelor Pad

its new on abc all the crazies from The Bachelor and Bachelorette are going to be on it. Including weatherman. and Tenley who is just super cute. I cannot wait!! Sadly I will only be able to watch one episode before the mish. Lara promised to write me plot details. ha. jk.

Other topics included how over-done headbands are becoming and the current BYU style. Vintage Fab.

As you can tell Matt loves us. im sure.

I fight Crime

The other night I had a pretty sweet dream. I fought crime and bad guys and won!

This is what happened: Amy was getting married so a bunch of people were at this sports club type thing for the wedding/reception. But while we were there my friend Jaylene and I find out somehow that the flower girl is going to be kidnapped so we had to stop it! Instead of just hiding the little girl, or watching her constantly we decided the best way would be to investigate and stop the kidnappers before they could even get a chance to think about it. So in all our bridesmaid get-up (little black hot dresses, and very high, very awesome green heels) Jaylene and I set up a stake-out.

The club happened to be very busy that day because there was some sort of kids sports competition as well. It was like a track meet, but basketball was also involved. Naturally like any stake out Jaylene and I hid in the bushes and watched everyone as they came in figuring that once we saw the kidnapper we would just know that was him and we would take him out. Well we sit there for awhile when these 3 men came in accompanied by about 10 kids. And like we had thought we just knew. They were the kidnappers. I think it must have been the sketchy beanies, and slightly gray haired scruffy beards that gave them away. Plus there were 2 really big guys, then one super skinny little one with a high pitched voice. Basic criminal posse if you ask me. So then we follow them. 

And find out that all the kids with them were kidnapped. They had searched out the most athletic children and snatched them just for the competition this weekend, and the flower girl was just the last thing they need to make their victory sure. We decided right then that not only were we going to stop a kidnap from occurring and throw those men in jail, we were also going to save all those kids! When they were all in the locker room preparing for their meet we distracted the kidnappers and snuck all the kids out the window, but the kidnappers caught us on the last kid. This was when it got gooood. Jaylene and I basically beat the crap out of those guys. Kung-fu style, along with using the heels of our shoes, and toilet paper to tie them up. It was siiick!

Then we saved the day, and the wedding, and the world basically.  It was neat. That is all. 

[ps. I waaaant those shoes baad! for reals. post mission. done. ]

This is my life.

This week has been great and super fast!

Monday my family went biking down by Cascade Locks, it was gorgeous! I forget about green trees sometimes living in Utah. 

 Yes Abby and I felt like Sound of Music at times. In fact we even sang a little "Doe a Deer" to set the mood. 

After the bike ride we went and explored the fish ladders. 

I fell asleep. It was a great nap! Aaand that is about all i got out of it, except there were some pretty big fish, which was kinda neat. Also I really wanted to drop something  (like a baby's shoe perhaps) down up top and see if the viewers below would see a random shoe float by.

Also I was able to talk to my best friend ever! She is going to Hong Kong and was at the airport calling home. It was good to hear her, and listen to how excited she is about her mission. It just makes me want to leave already! Plus she spoke a little Cantonese for us, so crazy to hear! 

 She is one awesome missionary already and she is going to be even more amazing in China!

Tuesday was a fun-filled day of driving 13 hours. It took longer due to horrendous amounts of construction and missing the I-15 turnoff. That is a mistake one should never make, you have to drive about 25 minutes out in the middle of nowhere Idaho until you can turn around. We were very tempted to just pull a U-ey on those police driveways on the freeways. Definitely weighed the pros and cons on that one. What made the drive better was listening to this book on cd. 

  I have never done that before, the whole book on cd thing, but it's not to bad. However, by the end I did want to punch the reader in the face because her voice was super annoying, and the whole time I just wished I had my own copy of the book to read myself because I just want to know what happens already and she is reading so dang slow! But reading and driving is unsafe children, and could be considered UNdefensive driving..soo books on cd = good. 

Returned to work on Wednesday. First 8 hour day in about a month.. bleeeh. enough said. I was ansy about an hour in. 

Highlights of Thursday: for my lunch break I decided to walk through the neighborhoods across the street, it might have been one of my best ideas this month. I love walking, I love Utah houses [this is a whole other story, but they are pretty, and clean, and pretty, and nice], I love blasting my ipod. It was perfect. And I ran across this girl selling lemonade, so naturally I bought some from her, just to support the cause. Plus it took me back to my lemonade/snow cones/oriental trading toys selling days! Sally the 7yr old, and I had a lovely life chat for about 20 minutes. She was bomb! 

And then I ran across this gem! 

Cute little neighborhood park.

complete with gazebo, and picnic tables! New lunch destination? I think yes absolutely!

Also I got free food. Chili's. Courtesty of BYUB. No complaints there. 

Then today is FRIDAY! hello weekend, nice of you to come back! I dont really have plans but I have high hopes. I know tonight Im going to be doing a little bit of dancing. And hoping that tomorrow will be full of plasma donating, croquet playing, and tennis ball hitting! :) 

HAVE A BEAUTIFUL WEEKEND EVERYONE!

Less than 7 weeks -- yes im counting down. 

Oh and I had to say goodbye to this boy for a year and half.

It was traumatic...and when I say traumatic I mean slightly anti-climatic but still sad. 

Oh and this family. 

It was also very upsetting. Mostly because Amy didn't even say goodbye, apparently sleep comes first. uh rude. *tear*

You Probly Didn't Know This Buuut....

k so since i feel like my life has gotten completely boring and monotonous and therefore unblog-worthy, i have decided to just write on random things that people may or may not know about me, probly one new thing week.

Today on account that I had to go to court (minor driving without registration ticket, no worries im no criminal) I have decided to dedicate this post to just that.

Fun Fact about Emily #1:

I have a completely irrational fear of getting arrested and going straight to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200. 

 

Yeah its weird I know. Its not like i have ever even done anything remotely close to something that would land me some jail time, so I don't know where it comes from. But its there.

 ahh..im gonna start shaking over here.

Some examples..yes? ok---

One time I was walking out of Pennys or something in the mall, and this man comes up behind me, yells stop, and grabs my arm. I thought i was going to pee my pants. I was certain that it was police officer planning on smacking down his cuffs and leading me away, even though i had done nothing wrong. ( I had just forgotten to grab my debit card after paying)

Story numero dos: I got pulled over a couple weeks ago (registration ticket) and the police officer was taking forever after he had taken my license and such. He kept talking on his radio, then staring up at me, then talking on his radio again, for like 10 minutes. In which time Im sitting in my car freaking out! I was sure he was going to come up and say actually maam i need you to come with me, I was even figuring out who I would call to come bail me out, and what sitting in a jail cell would be like. Luckily he came back with just fix-it ticket and no handcuffs.

and tres: I have to pass by the juvenile detention center everyday on my drive to work. No joke the first 3 months of driving to work i would have to turn up the radio and really focus on staring at the car in front of me because just thinking about that place, much less staring at it would make my heart jump and butterflys fly. 

 However, if I did go to jail, i totally would rock those prison stripes, or orange jumpsuit. My mug shot though would not be pretty, and um most likely i would be beaten up, lying in a ball on the floor crying within the first hour.

So please never frame me for any crime you commited.. because if jail doesn't kill, ill die of fear on my way over...  Now you know, mikes super short show!  (yes thats a disney reference, yes i just went there) : )

Glossophobia?--- I may just have that--

Glossophobia -- the fear of public speaking. 

I learned something about myself today --- public speaking and I do not mix In my mind I am always super confident. I think yeah no problem I don’t mind talking to a group, its easy, im going to be totally chill and funny. Then I get up there and freeze.

So today. I had to give a talk in church. It is probably going to be the last opportunity I will have to speak in my home ward in Washington. So I spent some time preparing this talk and at first I was a little shaky with the subject but by the end I was actually pretty pleased with what I had come up with. During the opening song, first speaker, I felt completely confident, even jotted down a few more things that came to mind. This was going to be way easy, good, take up probably close to the 10 minutes I was assigned. Then the first speaker ends, its my turn… and my heart starts racing. I walk to the pulpit…. Stare out at everyone. And mind goes completely blank, I almost even forgot the general authorities name that gave the talk I was speaking about. I tried to pull it together, look down at my notes that I had written, but couldn’t find what I had been thinking, so then I just kinda talked but my mind was going something kinda like this "man there are so many people, just staring at me, what am I even suppose to say, wow its hot in here, why did I wear 4 layers, I shoulda taken off this jacket, wow no one is smiling, they are all just staring, I must not be making sense, dang im sweating, I wonder if they can see the drops of sweat go down my face, its probably red, I need to sit down right now!”… so that is what I did, I bore a really fast testimony and sat down.. it felt like I had been up there forever…. Nope, not forever,more like 2 minutes… yeah one. TWO!. Im sure it was shorter than the youth speakers talk. I didn’t tell any of the stories I had written down, didn’t share any of the scriptures that I  had taken such time to look up and fit in.oh it was bad.

My favorite part tho is after people came up and say I liked ur talk, or good job.. no no. u are lying, I know you are lying! It was not good. But that’s okay, because my grandparents also spoke and they needed more time than they would have gotten had a given a normal lengths talk. Plus I would much rather hear from them anyways.

I tried today to figure out what it is about public speaking that makes me so nervous, and I couldn’t really pinpoint it. I don’t know if its that everyone’s attention is on me, or my weird need to be perfect and say the right thing, or maybe it’s the fact that being in front of people and sharing my feelings makes me feel vulnerable and I don’t like that. Im not sure, but its something Im going to have to work on.

Another bonus ---> I am even more excited now to go on my mission because Im going to have to talk to people all day, some may even be big groups, and stepping outside of my comfort zone like that every day for 18 months, man that is going to make me such a better person/speaker. I have much room to be improved!

ps... Im crossing my fingers that my byu bishop doesn’t ask me to speak, please cross ur fingers for me plz&thx I don’t think I can handle that humiliation again. ; )

pps... Im even more nervous now for the Public Speaking class my major requires… ahhh.. I start shaking and sweating just thinking about it.

Refocusing..

Today my boss told me this story and I really loved it! 

Back when he was at the MTC he had a teacher ask all of the missionaries to write a list of all the reasons they were going on a mission. Ganon said his list was something like:

1. Learn a new language

2. Live in a different country

3. Gain a stronger testimony

4. Preach the Gospel

And he thought it was a pretty good list. Later on, after he had been in Argentina for about 4 months, he thought back to that teacher and that list and realized just how stupid his reasons sounded. He didn't need to be on a mission to accomplish any of those things. He could have done everything on that list in a lot easier ways than going on a mission, because the truth is, missions are tough. This is when he realized the only reason he was on a mission, the only reason he had not given up and gone home months ago was not even on his list. And that was 'because he knew that Argentina and a mission was exactly where the Lord wanted him, and needed him, and that was what he was supposed to be doing'

Yes, the mission is going to be hard. Learning a language. Living in a foreign country. Getting rejected, and doors slammed. Trying to teach. Missing my family. Missing my friends. Not ever having alone time. Being constantly tired. Yes. All this is going to be rough, BUUUT I know that is where the Lord wants me to be. I know in the long run I will only be a better person because of this experience. I know that i can help people, and bring joy into their lives. And that is all that matters. That is all I should be thinking about. 

Today I feel good. Today I am re-focused. I will no longer let anything get in my way/discourage me from doing what the Lord has planned.

BYUB Morning Discussion

*warning - im not sure but the following post may seem a bit sacrilegious... but the conversation in question occured at BYU Broadcasting.... so its probably not.*

Background : Boss man, co-worker, and me are sitting here talking about KSL (Channel 5 in Utah, NBC) and how the church owns it. Boss man used to work there, so he was telling us all about it and how they don't play SNL and stuff. Then co asks how KSL can swing airing all the sessions of conference because that is 2 whole days and he can't imagine that the advertisements they show between sessions and stuff bring in a whole lot of revenue. Enter Conversation---

Boss- "Well think about it. What airs on Saturday and Sunday afternoons in the first place?

[dot dot dot... cricket cricket]

Me - "uh.. golf? maybe?

Boss - "Exactly, they don't get a lot of people watching anyways. Honestly, General Conference weekend probably gets more traffic than usual.

Co - "Well I just think to make a little money, since the ads are kinda lacking maybe the prophets and apostles should just start endorsing products....

[cue emily dyyyying with laughter]

Co continues - "Think about it. President Monson speaking, all of a sudden he pauses and says 'I could really go for a Dasani water right now. whips out a water bottle, takes a swig, and sets on the podium"

[cue emily/boss laughing harder]

Me - " or,  I just want to thank everyone for coming and remind you to drive home safe. And remember its best to be prepared, so stop at your nearest Chevron and fill up on gas today!"

And now I just keep picturing it, over and over and over again. It makes me smile/laugh everytime. Sometimes work is fun.

(I could really go for a Dasani right now)

Ok so maybe a little sacrilegious...

Virus or Power Outage?

How about both?! That is what my work day consisted of! First my computer gets this wicked virus wouldn't let me open anything but instead some um. less than good websites would kept popping up all over the place. no good* . Soooo what do you do when ur work computer has to be re-imaged... lunchtime! [nap in the park. yes please!]

I get back, not 5 minutes later, right after I got my new login and computer up and running.. power goes out. It was awesome! for those who don't know I work in a bit of a dungeon, no windows. Boy did my nickelcade flashlight keychain come in handy! We sat there in the dark for awhile, telling ghost stories until we were escorted out of the building, apparently BYU policy says you can't be in a building if the power is out. So what do you do when the power is out at work, there are about 50 people just standing outside waiting for the lights to come back? oh i know! Get the soccer ball, the kickball, and chalk you have stored in your trunk and play! It was like recess : ) 

And i definitely am glad that I was so prepared. About 15 minutes later we were informed that the power was not going to come back on and that we could all go home! Can life get better? I submit that it cannot! 

That was at 2:30. I wasn't sure what i was going to do with a free afternoon its been awhile, but an idea came quickly. Enjoy a little bit of this- -

and a little sun time here. 

Man was it a good day! sometimes technology backfiring can be such a blessing : ) I needed a relaxing afternoon! 

* I was going to say no bueno instead of no good. But I had a friend tell me yesterday that if I say that in Chile I will look stupid so I should stop. Apparently they don't use that phrase.

Note Glee also went Gaga tonight and i was haaaappy!

So Today.... [a photo documentary]

I have been feeling a lot like this..

and a little bit like this... 

and really really missing this.... 

But i did eat some of this... 

yuuuuummm. 

which made me do this

[smile.. not dye the hair]

im also currently listening to this

hitting my roof.. and it might is the best thing i have heard all day!